I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He kissed a someone with a penis
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
