Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
