we're blogging at a bar
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
