I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
