I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Houston, we have a squirter
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I need to align my fucking chakras
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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