I wish my penis had an off switch
I accidentally had phone sex last night
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
