I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize