how can u be prego again
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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