8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I want you more than these girls want KFC
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
