The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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