the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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