The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize