Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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