OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.