Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
