Texts From Last Night

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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Are you dead

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Yes

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Oh man

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard

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  (260): Are you dead (1-260): Yes (260): Oh man (1-260): Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard http://tfl.nu/iien
  Replies (7) Good night (3082) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.

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  (325): she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it. http://tfl.nu/ygfd
  Replies (5) Good night (598) Bad night (2987)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  one might say we're banned from that church

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  (510): one might say we're banned from that church http://tfl.nu/l4dz
  Replies (5) Good night (3966) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.

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  (443): The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion. http://tfl.nu/57n6
  Replies (31) Good night (652) Bad night (4596)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".

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  (201): A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead". http://tfl.nu/bwjk
  Replies (10) Good night (5795) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.

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  (678): For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you. http://tfl.nu/2vfg
  Replies (1) Good night (3446) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Go back and try to find another to go home with.

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  (501): Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders? (501): Go back and try to find another to go home with. http://tfl.nu/r0ix
  Replies (9) Good night (2449) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  When are you not under some influence?

  (917): View more from New York City

  Since last Tuesday...yesterday.

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  (347): When are you not under some influence? (917): Since last Tuesday...yesterday. http://tfl.nu/zuz3
  Replies (3) Good night (1500) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.

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  (408): I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night. http://tfl.nu/u07w
  Replies (7) Good night (1398) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.

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  (506): Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies. http://tfl.nu/zmgn
  Replies (2) Good night (1419) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.

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  (519): If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving. http://tfl.nu/lmm0
  Replies (10) Good night (1104) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.

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  (785): I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/gaew
  Replies (5) Good night (1351) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.

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  (312): Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown. http://tfl.nu/cr3i
  Replies (1) Good night (820) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place

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  (571): A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place http://tfl.nu/vals
  Replies (5) Good night (1323) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son

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  (920): it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son http://tfl.nu/82oe
  Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (348)

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