While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
