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• (410): View more from Maryland

  In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?

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• (518): View more from New York

  You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage

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• (805): View more from California

  What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.

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• (760): View more from California

  I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again

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