Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?

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  (703): exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea? http://tfl.nu/lklw
  Replies (5) Good night (3237) Bad night (1033)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.

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  (727): i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR. http://tfl.nu/oyj0
  Replies (16) Good night (13800) Bad night (711)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"

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  (931): I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard" http://tfl.nu/ugy9
  Replies (5) Good night (1272) Bad night (2495)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.

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  (423): We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands. http://tfl.nu/9yq1
  Replies (7) Good night (3321) Bad night (901)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.

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  (703): I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet. http://tfl.nu/knpf
  Replies (2) Good night (1613) Bad night (573)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.

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  (814): Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark. http://tfl.nu/ixe0
  Replies (2) Good night (1523) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.

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  (860): So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled. http://tfl.nu/ouz2
  Replies (6) Good night (1943) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.

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  (617): my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me. http://tfl.nu/yb33
  Replies (6) Good night (736) Bad night (1659)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...

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  (910): The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video... http://tfl.nu/iq5u
  Replies (5) Good night (2337) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?

  (718): View more from New York

  See you tonight.

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  (201): Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning? (718): See you tonight. http://tfl.nu/wje2
  Replies (4) Good night (1647) Bad night (609)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I need to hump something and I know u understand.

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  (843): I need to hump something and I know u understand. http://tfl.nu/eg48
  Replies (3) Good night (1222) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.

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  (604): My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both. http://tfl.nu/t7s4
  Replies (3) Good night (966) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager

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  (705): I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager http://tfl.nu/uera
  Replies (2) Good night (525) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  and SLEEP god I love sleep

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  (440): I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal. (440): and SLEEP god I love sleep http://tfl.nu/p4ha
  Replies (0) Good night (1179) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb

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  (604): I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb http://tfl.nu/i22g
  Replies (4) Good night (749) Bad night (306)

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