apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.