You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.