Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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