before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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