Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
