What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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