Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I need to sanitize my soul.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize