actually, I'm a sock model
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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