You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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