I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
