My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
