Don't make out with my wife yet
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
