Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
