just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
