Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
