Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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