The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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