in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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