The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
