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Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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