you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
