wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Randomize
