Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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