You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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