real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
