I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
