one might say we're banned from that church
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
