You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
