marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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