We won't sleep together?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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