Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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