Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
