I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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