what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
foreskin is a definite game changer
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
