Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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