I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
