last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
