i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
