i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
