You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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