Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
