JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize