Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
