I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize