ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
