We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
