Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
