Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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